I am polyamorous, and I have 3 partners. I've been poly for 5.5ish years and have had 3 partners for about 2.5 years, and it's overall positive. Over the past 7 months or so, I've been going in and out of feelings of burnout with regards to my relationships. Which is interesting, because historically I've always been the rock that's managed to steel myself and help my partners. Of course I've needed help, but the dynamic was overwhelmingly the other way around. At this point it feels closer to 50/50 with all of my partners, which is probably positive, but I'm not sure.

The burnout feels so interesting. I'll have this burning, uncomfortable feeling in my stomach from the moment I open my eyes till the second I close them at the end of the day. Thinking of doing things with anyone, even friends unrelated to the situation, sucks my stomach into the void that fills it. It feels like nothing can get better, and I'm going to be lost in the fog of pain for the rest of my life. It's rarely big things that cause it, rather an accumulation of smaller things that eat away at my soul until I tip overboard.

While that sounds dire (because it is!), it's better now, and has been trending upwards since the initial plummet 7 months ago. I don't think it's necessary to breakdown my issues in public, but it's nice to reflect on the kinds of things that have helped me.

1. Never treat a little annoyance as a thing that can't be discussed. If our loved ones do minor things that bother us, we can tell them that! We don't need to accept a feeling of discontent just because we love someone. Granted, there are things that are unchangeable, but airing the grievance will help both of you as figure out how to better handle your problems. Sometimes just saying it fixes the problem.
2. Alone time is awesome, but what's more important is knowing you can take the alone time. I don't need to isolate myself for days at a time if I know that when I truly need that time, it's respected.
3. Sometimes you just need to go work out. I mean this sincerely. Down in the dumps? Do some squats. Endless suffering? Do some squats. Feeling good? Do some squats. We are stupid fucking monkeys, and sometimes monkeys just need to run around and hit shit. Give into that feeling sometimes, and you'll be better on the other days.

I am genuinely happy, and I it's important to stay happy by working at it.